Closer Than Most
by rickymcchicken
Summary: Based on the song Evelyn, Evelyn. After the incident at the 5th Laboratory, Alphonse has doubts. About himself, his brother, his whole life. When he finally confronts Ed, things escalate. If Winry hadn't stepped in when she did in canon, where would it have led? One-shot


Closer Than Most

" _We grew up closer than most_

 _Closer than anything, closer than anything_

 _Shared our bed, wore the same clothes_

 _Talked about everything, spoke about so many things…"_

Alphonse sat silently on a stool, watching his brother sleep in the hospital bed in front of him. Edward's chest rose and fell with his breaths. He was snoring slightly. Al stood up and left the room, closing the door softly. He walked down the hallway to a secluded section, and went to sit down, when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He gazed into his own eyes—or rather, where they would be—and felt his heart ache. Just the night before at the fifth laboratory, Barry had asked him how he knew that he was human. And, in all honesty, he wasn't sure. Nothing about him looked human, that was for sure. His cold, metal shell supposedly held something real: memories, emotions, love. As he thought back to his childhood, the memories and emotions were becoming fuzzy. Was that part of growing up? Or was it something more sinister?

"Are you sure you're not a puppet created by your so-called brother?" Barry's voice echoed in his mind, mocking him.

"No, I'm not..." Al caught himself saying. He realized that he'd been looking into the mirror for some time, without really looking, and seated himself on the bench. He heard Brosh wheeling Ed down the hallway, chatting. In his mind, he was making himself as small as he could. He wanted to hide, for the Earth to swallow him up.

"Hey, Al!" Edward called.

"B-brother…" Al greeted him.

"You know you can come to the room, right?" Ed asked. Al froze. He saw Ed's worried expression and wished he would just let him be. He felt patronized, albeit mistakenly.

"I'll be there in a little bit."

"Oh, okay." The sound of the wheelchair squeaking faded as they headed back to the hospital room. Al put his head in his hands and sighed. He pulled himself together enough to head to see his brother.

As Al opened the door, Ed and Winry were arguing about milk, and didn't seem to notice the door open. He shut the door and walked away. He heard his name muffled through the door, and stopped for a moment to hear, but he couldn't make anything out of importance. The sun was setting, so Alphonse decided to go for a walk to clear his head.

It didn't work. After a few hours, Al came back to the secluded bench and mirror area, and leaned against the wall, alone with his thoughts for the next 8 hours.

The next morning, Al came in to Ed's room, quietly, as to not wake him. He watched him sleeping, the rhythm of his breaths calming him slightly. The nurse pushed into the doorway, pulling a meal cart with her. Edward startled awake, and she grimaced.

"Sorry hun, didn't mean to wake you. Here's breakfast." Ed swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He glared at the milk.

"We meet again, you little bastard. I'm not going to drink you!" Ed grumbled.

"Brother, you have a living body that needs nourishment." Barry's laugh echoed again. "You have to drink it." He sighed, crestfallen.

"Not happening. What's eating you lately?" Ed asked, mouth full of bread.

"Nothing."

"Don't feed me that crap." Ed rolled his eyes.

"I think we need to spend some time apart." Al said flatly

"Huh? What do you mean? Everything's just coming together! I need you!"

"A parasite needs a host." Al retorted. "But I don't want to be the parasite anymore."

"Parasite? Al, you're not a parasite! You're my brother. You may be younger, but I look up to you, literally." Ed making a joke at his own expense was extremely rare. "You're so powerful! Especially like this!"

That was it. Al stood up with an amount of force enough to knock the stool over.

"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER WANTED THIS!" He shouted with as much venom as he could muster.

"I know Al, I'm sorry. It's my fault you're like this. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm going to get our bodies back, I promise." Ed's heart clenched.

Al's fists were balled, and his voice was choked up. "You don't KNOW that! You always say that!"

Ed furrowed his brow. "Of course, I do! I'm only trying to do what's best for us."

Al scoffed. "For us? Or for you? Am I even really your brother? Or am I some TOY that you CREATED?" He wished he could cry.

"Alphonse! You're real! You have memories!" Edward was beginning to raise his voice. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and was trying his best to blink them back.

"What does it take to implant a memory, Edward? NOTHING. You said you were afraid to tell me something, and, well, I think I know. You, and Winry, and Granny are all in on this. Well, let me tell you. Every night, I see you sleep. I feel like a ghost because I have to just sit there, all alone with myself. I don't even FEEL human anymore." Alphonse felt himself calming down, or maybe just losing the mental energy to keep this up.

Edward met Alphonse's eyes and smiled. He remembered his little brother, before everything. He felt like he was home again. "Do you remember when we—"

"Don't." Alphonse interrupted sharply.

"I'm just reminiscing." Ed looked down at the remainder of bread.

"Well, stop it." He began to leave the room. Ed reached out to grab his hand. "Don't touch me."

"Al—"

"Just leave me ALONE!" Al yelled, and Ed's eyes began to sting. He couldn't hold it back any longer.

A single tear rolled down his face as Winry walked in with her toolbox.

"Ed…" She whispered. He smiled achingly at her, the whites of his eyes starting to redden.

"I was right. I told you he blamed me." She gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He put his forehead on her shoulder and sighed a shaky sigh.

"Just give him some time to himself." Winry said. "He'll come around."


End file.
